Rawson Marshall Thurber’s heist comedy is devoid of any form of imagination and the presence of three of the biggest stars in the world doesn’t help because the bland jokes and sloppy reenactments of heist tropes overshadows their star power.
If Ryan Reynolds wasn’t always the loud mouthed guy who breaks the fourth wall in every film, I’d say he was trying his absolute best to save this hot mess that doesn’t even look good on paper. But I’m probably wrong because why on earth will three of the biggest stars in Hollywood agree to star side-by-side in a C-List heist concoction that is completely unimaginative and devoid of jokes that are actually funny?
Scratch that, maybe I’m the problem. As a pathetic PSG fan, it’s no new experience seeing three stars deliver absolutely nothing in spite of their respective charms. Maybe it’s just trauma. Or, and a big OR at that, maybe a film about the three lost eggs of Cleopatra, like Anthony and Cleopatra from 30 BC, shouldn’t have been made with an uninspired threesome thrown in a cycle of twists and daddy issues in mind.
Two thousand years ago, Roman general Mark Antony gave Cleopatra three eggs on their wedding day. Two eggs were unearthed several years later but the last one was never found. Booth’s (Reynolds) an art thief. Hartley (Dwayne Johnson) is an FBI profiler who wants to stop Booth from stealing the eggs but there is a bigger presence: The Bishop – one of the most beautiful women in the world (I had to include this, it’s not part of the premise 😍). The Bishop (Gal Gadot) is in a tussle with Booth for the title of the most wanted art thief and she sets him up, then sets Hartley up, then sets both of them up. She also kicked both their asses.
In pursuit is Agent Das (Ritu Arya), who is just another pun in the Bishop’s game. It’s pretty straight-forward from there except for the twists and turns and double crossings. You know, like a heist film. Except this one repeats those tropes lazily. An impressive feat at that because I realized what a bad film it was 10 minutes in. Renny Harlin’s The Misfits lasted longer and that film was so bad it could actually cause you physical pain.
You know, it’s hard to write a comedy film these days, except that’s a lie. Rawson Marshall Thurber (Writer/Director) isn’t particularly inventive and Ryan Reynolds reciting the plot in every scene doesn’t cover for his sins. But one scene does that job for him: if watching Ed Sheeran swinging his guitar in defense isn’t the single most joyous gif to have as an NFT, I don’t know what is.
Oh wait, I’m just receiving word that those eggs do not exist. It’s all fictional. Now that’s a funny joke cos I bet Thurber thought he was a genius when he came up with that.😂😂